What does that mean? Sexual success? Does that mean you get a blue ribbon of success or ten gold stars of achievement?
Not exactly! To achieve sexual success means that you walk away from the experience feeling satisfied and fulfilled on every level. Is this something you achieve once and BOOM you are there, never to go unsatisfied ever again? Probably not, that would be fantastic if it did happen for you that way! More than likely this will become a practice for you in attracting the right lover, letting them know what you like, what makes you feel alive, turned on and engaged, just as much as you let them know what does not feel good to you.
When you have been in a relationship for a long time and the sex starts to get stagnant, meaning it is always the same routine and feels like more of a chore or something to get through rather than something you deeply enjoy and wish you could keep doing all day! How do you begin to let your partner know that you could be way more satisfied?
DON’T DO IT IN BED!
Or during sex for that matter. Wait until you are fully clothed and in a good space where you can bring this topic up. This conversation can feel uncomfortable, confrontational and bring up some shame for you, your partner or both. You may want to go for a walk together, so that your body is moving some of that discomfort out as the words come through.
Start with, “I have something I’d like to talk about, and I’m a little unsure how to bring it up. To be honest I am a little uncomfortable, but I think it is important that I share what is true for me, because you are my partner and I love you and I really value this relationship.” Go ahead and “out” yourself, so they know you are putting yourself in a vulnerable place, and that you are looking for their full attention and support.
Next, tell them that you desire to explore more creativity in the bedroom (or wherever it is that you have sex). Let them know what they already do that you really like, and that you would like more of that with a twist of XYZ. Say how it would make you feel if you got more of this twist, what it would do for you. (Here’s where this conversation can actually start to turn you both on (and don’t hold back!) this is your opportunity to break through your boundaries and any shame that might be holding you back from achieving sexual success!)
Now for the climax of the conversation! You can use these words, “Something we have never tried before that I think would be fun to explore is ABC. Here’s how I imagine that unfolding…” tell your partner a detailed story of your sexiest scenario. If you are not sure what that would look like, you can invite them to create this scenario with you. If they have an idea you really like, start to develop a language that lets them know they are on the right track! As this language develops you will be able to bring it directly into the sexy scenario later on. Can you see how this conversation starts to set you up for sexual success? (Keep it simple: if you like something say, “MMMM yeah! or ooooh I like!” If you don’t like something they suggest say, “No, I don’t like that.” Be straightforward, don’t sugar coat and use this opportunity to start setting up boundaries for yourself.)
What is a boundary?
Think of a river, and how it is surrounded on both sides by banks. These banks are the boundaries for that river, they help the river to move and flow in a forward direction. The banks allow the river to be a river, without those banks the river would just be a flood plain with no direction and no movement. Stagnant!
When your sex life is stagnant, you can bet other parts of your life will be stagnant too, so let’s put our heads together and build some banks for you so that you can flow!
Book a FREE Sensuality Awakening Session with me today!
I ran into a potential client of mine the other day; notice I said “potential” because she is not yet a paying client, but had one free consultation with me.
During that short free session, we were able to uncover many of the masks and limiting beliefs that had been holding her back from unleashing her wild feminine sensual self; thus allowing her to have THE BEST SEX OF HER LIFE! (Those are her words). Not only was it deeply fulfilling, but it allowed her to see the relationship from a new perspective, which was invaluable in and of itself.
She was absolutely beaming when she told me that she had been doing the three-minute practice I gave her during our free Sensuality Awakening Session every day and she could not believe the results she was getting not only in her sex life, but in her inner personal life as well.
This was after just five days of giving herself the time and space to focus on a three-minute sensuality practice.
You are unique and different than any other client I work with and it is essential that I get to know you in order to support you in a way that very well could have you achieving mind-blowing orgasms within the next week. I need to know who you are and what you are going through in your sex life now, so when you sign up for a free consult with me, you will fill out an application form that will help me get a feel for your needs. From there, we will hop on a call together, where I will sense your essence so that I can provide you with one powerful practice that will shift your life into more pleasure, more joy and more openness. You might even have the best sex of your life from this one free session; it’s been known to happen 😉