I bet you can guess what zaps your sex drive more than anything, because it actually zaps you on all levels. It will mess with your sleep, and your wake time. It will have your mind running around in circles, like a rat running on a hamster wheel, you will be running but going nowhere, and exhausting yourself in the meantime.
Now, you already know that stress is bad for your health, but when you are stressed out, and it seems like nothing is going your way, you can’t catch a break, you are overwhelmed and exhausted, what do you do? How do you break the cycle? When it feels like the waves of life are crashing over your head and you barely have time to come up for a breath, much less feel inspired for “sexy time,” where do you turn? When you can’t quiet the monkey mind or escape the emotional roller coaster, what is the answer?
Many coaches and therapists will urge you to find ways to cope with stress, there is a train of thought that managing stress is the answer.
You must do things to eliminate your stress, even if it is only for a brief period of time. Remember when you were a kid and your emotions were so big that you would act out to get the attention you needed. You’d punch your little sister or smear your chocolate pudding all over the counter tops. Your parents would put you on a “time out.” Essentially we still need “time outs” in our adult years, but we have to parent ourselves and make sure that we get that break, so that we can regain perspective on the situation at hand.
You can start eliminating stress by taking a time out, “easier said than done,” you might be thinking. Let’s take a closer look. What if you gave yourself one full hour everyday away from all electronic devices, just a solid hour of freedom from being pulled on by family, invited by friends, needed at work. Every time you hear a beep, swoosh or ring your nervous system shifts closer to a state of “fight or flight,” and your stress response kicks in (even if you quickly calm it back down, a little leak of cortisol, your stress hormone, was released).
What if that one hour you gave yourself away from the leash of your devices was spent outside in nature? Studies show that walking on the earth and being among trees, (such as a forest or park) actually lowers your stress levels, by clearing cortisol from your bloodstream. What if you did some slow movement during that one hour? It could be walking, stretching, biking, or a meditative movement, such as yoga or chi gong. When you slow yourself down like this you can experience more sensation in your body.
I believe you truly deserve this one hour of freedom, the question is… do you?
Let’s break it down……WHAT IS STRESS REALLY?
Stress is the fight against reality. Stress comes when you are not accepting of what is. To accept what is, does not mean you will not be working toward a better outcome, but rather it mean you can meet the issue where it is at, then you will have a better chance of getting to where you would like to be. Let’s say you want to go to San Francisco, but you don’t know if you are north or south of the city. It would be who of you to take the time to do the research to figure out where you actually are before you start driving. This is the same idea in your life. If you are sad, angry and hurt then take the time to accept those emotions, maybe dig a little deeper on where they are actually coming from AND THEN begin your journey toward contentment and joy. I promise you will have a more pleasurable and successful journey if you do this.
Resisting the pain you feel both emotionally and physically, will only make the pain worse and easily triggered down the line. Do not avoid feeling lonely, rejected, scared, vulnerable, and uncomfortable. This avoidance is the resistance to facing what is real for you; this is the foundation for stress to pile up on. Instead meet the feelings head on and know that if you feel lonely it does not mean you are a lonely person, it is simply a feeling that is a part of the human experience.
In the front of your mind is you consciousness; your consciousness has many likes and dislikes, many ideas and ideals. This part of your mind is constantly trying to make everything “ok” for you. It is like the manager of a restaurant that has the job of making sure everything looks perfect, feels right, smells good and is inviting to the costumers. You give your conscious mind the impossible task of making sure that you are liked by the right people, communicating in the right way, wearing the right clothes, and partaking in the right social events all the time. (This part of the mind is in hyper mode when it comes to your social media presence.) As you can see this is a lot of pressure for the conscious mind, even when everything is going your way.
Imagine how much MORE pressure you put on your conscious mind when you’re stressed. Let’s say your father is sick, he’s been in and out of the hospital for months, and your having a hard time getting time off work to be with your father in the hospital, and you are struggling to pay rent. Now your conscious mind is working double time to make sure your boss is happy with you, and your communicating with the doctors at the hospital about your fathers care properly, and that your landlord is happy with you as a tenant. So much run around for your mind!
What if you could step back from all this and watch it pass by as if it were a movie? What if you could remove yourself from all the emotions of grief, frustration, resentment, and overwhelm? If you could do this you would step back into a place in your mind that is ”ok” with what is. Closer toward your brain stem is the seat of the subconscious mind, underneath all the thoughts and the worries and the emotions there is a place of pure peace, and total equanimity. I believe this place is in you no matter who you are, but it is up to you to give this place more attention than you give to the “thinking” conscious mind. Do this as much as you remember to, this is the way to stop stress. It is a practice. You are always practicing something in your mind, you may not be aware of it, most people are practicing discontentment rather than contentment. Decide to be the minority. Give yourself some reminders, like every time you hear a bell, drop back and watch the thoughts, and emotions pass by without attaching yourself to them.
Stop stress moment to moment. The only moment you have any real control of is this moment, so use it wisely and watch your magnetic essence ignite. Pure bliss is always available, and it comes from the unification of giving and receiving simultaneously, which you cannot do in a state of stress.
My last thought for you is to have more orgasms, because every time you have an orgasm it flushes all the cortisol (stress hormone) from your body, leaving you lingering in the place of contentment. A powerful way to stop stress and also a lot of fun!