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Shame and SEX.

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Shame and Sex.

This is one of the most common places to carry shame and it is, in large part, due to religious doctrine and the cultural waters we swim in.  

You see, sex is the most potent and powerful creative energy that you have access to as a human being, it creates new life for Christ’s sake, what could be more potent than that?!

The taboo around sex keeps the shadow elements of it highly charged inside of you, making you feel like you are wrong or bad for having those feelings, fantasies or emotions.

It’s a huge waste of Chi!  

Taoists see sexuality as a healthy part of being human, and when you shut down or ignore this vital part of your health, every other part of your health takes a nose-dive.  Sleep, hormones, energy levels, digestion, immune and emotions.  Not to mention it closes a very big door on your connection to Spirit.

Exploring your sexual shadows brings significant light to your relationship with sex and with Spirit. It allows you to be more present during sexual encounters, which is where the real juice is.

A few shadows (according to the late Shakti Malan) that you might want to look at are:

  • Needing porn to get off,
  • fantasizing about others when you are with your partner,
  • always attracting the “bad boy or crazy girl” types, because they are the only types that turn you on,
  • being addicted to being “in love” or needing an element of the honeymoon phase in order to feel satisfied.
  • And finally, being obsessed with sex, always thinking about it, planning your life around it, making choices based on getting more of it….

On the other end of the spectrum from your sexual desires, you can look at your shadows of sexual fear. 

It may feel like uncharted territory to look at fears around sex, but that’s why it can be so liberating sexually to bring consciousness to them. 

Sexual fears tend to show up for many people as physical ailments like, premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, vaginismus and vaginal pain, loss of sexual desire causing dryness of the vagina, sexual trauma (which includes desires and fears all mixed together), and body armouring, which is when you shut down to the physical sensations of both pain and pleasure.

Then of course there are the shadows of sexual taboos, which come from culture and religion.

Taboos like:

  • sex should be enjoyed only in private and with your committed partner,
  • you should not get too wild during sex, you should enjoy it some, but not too much, you should always lead if you’re the man and follow if you’re the woman.
  • The list goes on, but it’s not only the actual taboos themselves that can create shame and guilt around sex, but the shadow side of these taboos as well.
  • For example if you rebel against the taboos and begin acting promiscuously, or be unfaithful just to spit in the face of the culture or exercise your “freedom” from the norm, you may very well still be ruled by the cultural idea of what sex “should” be.

The whole concept of Taoist Sexology, Tantra and other forms of sacred sexual practice is to become more authentic with your sexuality. To develop your own relationship to it, rather than living out the relationship others think you should have.

One of the biggest shadows and shame points I see with my clients is when one person starts feeling desire for someone ELSE when they are already in a monogamous relationship. 

If you’ve ever been in this predicament you know that it can really take you down.  It starts to affect your confidence, your relationship, your happiness, and your sexuality.  

The fantasies you create about this other person are so powerful they can ruin you, and the reality is that the more you resist the urges, the day dreams and maybe even the impulse to be with that person the more it persists.  

The truth is that you are not meant to get everything from one person, and coming to terms with this truth will move you through your, “crush” faster than anything.

When you desire another, that is some strong chi, that you can apply to your own health and vitality or use to boost your current relationship.

Think about it, you have a burning desire to be with someone, and they may or may not even know you exist.  It’s your desire, it’s your feeling, it comes from you and it is your responsibility.   

What would you like to do with that desire? Would you like to pursue that person? Would you like to channel that energy into your work, or your exercise routine? Would you like to transfer that energy into your sex life?

In regards to sex.  If you were fortunate your first sexual encounters were with a significant other in a safe and supportive space. 

If you were anything like me, on the other hand, it was the exact opposite.  It was far from safe and far from supportive, it may have even been nonconsensual – causing you to shut down your pleasure centers and associate sexuality with being bad or wrong. 

That is no way to live!

Sex is one of the most beautiful gifts we have been given in this lifetime.  When you are unable to open this gift and see all the beauty inside you are missing one of the most magical parts of the human experience.

So how do you heal from shame, much less become immune to it?

You have to start by identifying that there is shame.  It can be helpful to know where it comes from (pinpoint the incident or time in your life), but it is not necessary.

I recommend finding a special or sacred place in nature or in your home where you can be still and quiet enough to tune into the place in your body that you feel shame, notice the sensation of it. Is it tight, constricting, numb, dull, achy, sharp?  Does it limit your breath capacity; does it affect your heartbeat?  What happens to your nervous system when you feel this shame?

Once you have identified where it is in your body, and what it feels like place your hands there and begin to breathe into that place, expanding your inhale consciously into that place to create more space there.  If you would like to you can exhale with a sound, maybe an “AAAA,” sound to begin with, which might morph into deeper throatier sounds or even animalist growling sounds.  Repeat that breath, using the inhale to create space and using the exhale to release and clear out the current sensations of shame from your body.  Do this as long as necessary until you feel the sensation in you body change.

Depending on how long the shame has been there and how deeply you feel it you will want to keep doing this practice. I have had clients clear substantial amounts of shame in 1-3 of these sessions, for others it can take 1-3 months.  You will know when you are complete; trust your deep inner knowing. 

One of the things shame does is it takes you away from trusting yourself, and you will see that the more you clear the sensation of shame the more you will begin to trust yourself, and your future will unfold in a new direction.

Through this unfolding, you will begin to stand up for yourself, your confidence will rise and you will begin to experience a deep sense of knowing that you are worthy of love, you are worthy of joy, and that you have a fundamental, undeniable worth.

I encourage you to find support on this journey of releasing and becoming immune to shame, as it is helpful to have an objective perspective while working out the stories that created this shame to begin with.  Shame gets so ingrained in your consciousness; it can be difficult to separate yourself from it.

I am here in full support of your breakthrough, and so I offer you an Intimacy Hour with me for 80% OFF the regular cost of a coaching session. You can set yourself up with an Intimacy Hour session here.

I am wishing you a life full of joy, light, vitality and phenomenal self worth!

Did you grow up with Religious guilt? (The Shame Series)

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In my last article, I wrote about what shame feels like – and what you could be experiencing instead.

It’s a big topic. Which is why I’m bringing you this Part 2: All about religious shame.

Did you grow up with Religious guilt?

Me too.

Somehow, I was able to not succumb to the imposed guilt too much. I actually developed a rebellion toward it; and this “shadow” aspect of guilt was not without its own hold over me. It got me into some sticky situations, for sure!

It’s no secret that our culture has been built on the bedrock of fear, shame and guilt.  

It’s no secret that the opposite of these emotions is love. 

While fear, shame and guilt has been instilled to keep order over the people, as we are seeing in the world today, there is also a deep uprising of love, because love is innate.

These dark and light sides to humanity reside in you, they reside in me, they reside in all of us, that’s why you can relate to both sides.

The question is, what leads your journey? Love or Fear?

I’d like to notice whether the voices of guilt and shame have the tone of your mother’s voice, your father’s voice or your religious leader’s voice then those voices are not inherent to you.

If guilt and shame are not really who you are, then who are you?

Take some time to journal who you are without the confines of guilt, what choices would you make differently, how would you carry yourself differently, what kind of people would you surround yourself with?

Take a step further to explore who you would be, could be and are without shame…. this may take some outside support…. I’d love to support you in this! 

You’re welcome to set up an introductory session with me.

Unraveling yourself from the doctrine you were raised with can really require the support of a trained coach or therapist. No shame in asking for that support.

Religion carries a deep sense of spirituality that feeds and nourishes your soul, it also holds a sense of “control” that makes you feel like you are nothing without it. 

This can be confusing if you are a spiritual person by nature and a people pleaser. 

Coming from a huge catholic family myself I understand the conundrum this opposing message can create in you.

I know what it takes to find your own sovereign truth in the midst of all the outside messages. I’ve helped thousands of people come to clarity within themselves. 

I don’t believe you need to throw the baby out with the bathwater.  I believe you’ve got to release yourself from the “control” that keeps you playing out your life inauthentically. 

You’ve got to trust that the light within you will not disappear when you clear out the shadows.  In fact it will only get brighter.

You are the only one who can heal this divide for you. And you are not only doing it for yourself, but for your parents and their parents and all the way back through your ancestral line.

You also do this healing for your children or any future children. 

You are here to shift the epi-genetic code, simply by your shifting your relationship to spirit, and making choices from a place of love.

What I have found is that when you let go of “control” of the outcome; the way your life looks, where you are at by the time you’re 40, the way you look to others, and how you feel about your own life, you get closer to Spirit.

You develop a closer, more powerful relationship with God/Spirit/Goddess and begin to know that this powerful force is inside of you.

I can hear my own father’s voice, he became a born again christian during my teens, and he’d follow me around the house reading the Bible!  He’d say, “The kingdom of heaven is within you!”  

He had his spiritual awakening while I was busy going through puberty, (good times)!  

To this day he reads St. Brigit’s prayers everyday and stands on the podium at church to read from the bible most Sunday’s. He is all in with his religion, but even more in with spirituality! To him they are one and the same.

As you might imagine his spiritual awakening and my hormonal crises created a huge rift in our relationship for the better part of a decade. But as I healed my own dualistic, confused relationship with the doctrine of religion and pure spirituality, I was able to honor his relationship with it.

I now see my Dad as a man with incredible faith, in fact, he has more faith than anyone I know, and it brings tears to my eyes the devotion he has to his practice and the relationship he has to his God. My two brothers and I find it astounding and inspiring! 

Without even knowing it, he’s become a master practitioner of something called santosha. 

Santosha is one of the yoga sutras, (kind of like the 10 commandments of yoga), it’s the practice of surrendering your preferences. This means you have to train yourself to let go of “liking” and “disliking” things. 

You have to stop seeing things as “good” and “bad” and start seeing things through the eyes of acceptance. 

You may be thinking, “but some things are completely unacceptable!”  

It is true that things are often “unjust,” and “unfair,” but if you let your emotional state be yanked this way and that way by what you believe is fair or unfair, you will be exhausted from the emotional roller coaster.

Santosha is the true path to contentment.  And contentment is a longevity practice, it can add years to your life, not to mention quality.

It doesn’t mean you won’t take actions to change the way things are in your life, it’s not acceptance in the way of complacency. 

It’s acceptance in the way of meeting yourself and your life exactly where you are at. When you do this you release the element of resistance that keeps you in it’s grip, and free up your energy to be in love, rather than shame and guilt.

I want this for you! If you want this for yourself – consider hiring me for transformational private coaching.

All My Love!

Willow

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How Shame Feels – And What You Could Be Experiencing Instead.

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Shame is the Opposite of Vitality! It’s the Silent Killer.

Shame, next to fear, is the most debilitating emotion you can endure. Whether it’s a fleeting moment of embarrassment or a deep well of intense self-doubt that’s been with you your whole life, shame steals your vital life force energy. 

Few emotions are more draining for your Chi.

What is Shame anyway? 

You know what it feels like, you’re familiar with the terrible shrinking quality that makes you want to hide your face behind your hands….

But what is shame, beyond an emotional state?

Let’s break it down. Physically shame feels like a sinking inward, a recoiling of the heart, a rounding of the shoulders, a posture of protection.  

Emotionally it oppresses your inner light.  

Shame is different from guilt.  Guilt is when you feel like you did something wrong.  Shame is when you feel like you are wrong.

Shame is a rabbit hole that keeps going and going, until you learn to stop it, clear it and become immune to it.  

Becoming immune to shame means it no longer has a grip on you. In fact you can become so immune to shame that it doesn’t even occur to you to shrink away when the person you most admire tells you you’re not good enough for them.

If you’re still living in the grips of shame, there is no shame in that.

It’s a deeply ingrained emotion that we as a human species are still climbing our way out of.  

You’ll know it still has a hold on you if you hear the word in your head, “I’m not good enough,” or “I’m just too much for most people.” 

This message is an imprint that was likely stamped into your DNA at a very early age, perhaps all the way back to when you were in the womb.

It carries on into your childhood, teens, and early adult-hood, keeping you from living out your highest potential.  

What is your highest potential? It’s the life you wish you had, the money you dream of, the home you desire, the relationship you envy.

Shame is like a wet blanket over your highest potential. It dims the light within you that is your vitality, creativity, confidence, and authentic drive.

This deep sense of shame can inhibit you well into your 30’s, 40’s, 50’s and beyond. 

It will affect your relationships.

It will affect your finances. 

It will affect your health. 

It will affect your work.

You have to choose a different path.  

A path of being worthy!

Now let’s talk about the first major shame trigger – body shame.  

Your body is your vehicle in this life, it’s a beautiful temple to be honored, tended to and cared for. If you’re stuck in body shame you will not feel that way about your vehicle (your body). 

You could have a lot of contempt for your body, especially your belly, breasts and skin or even your penis or vulva.  You might hear regularly in your head that you need to work out more, do more sit-ups, hit the trail everyday, do more push-ups so your arms don’t get flabby.  

While I’m a huge advocate of exercise, doing it in a state of resentment, shame and doubt is not healthy.  You’ve got to let go of the drill sergeant, and start talking to your body with kindness and love!

I dare you to rub some coconut oil over your least favorite parts of yourself tonight, (thighs, belly, breasts, arms) and repeat the words, “I love you, I love you, I love you.”  This sacred practice will help you transform the voice of shame, that is so loud in your mind, into one of kindness and love.

One of the most common things I see with my patients and clients is an unfortunate estrangement from the natural feminine or masculine aspects of themselves.  My client Beth, had grown up hating her body, in fact it was part of her family culture. Her Mom hated her own body and her sisters were also obsessed with the way they looked.  All these women were gorgeous in their own ways. 

Through my eyes, the Mom looked slender, healthy, a shine to her eyes and hair and a glow to her skin.  It was shocking to hear of her contempt for her body and made me quite sad for not only her daughters, but women-kind. 

Beth’s sisters were both fit, healhy, had straight teeth, nice smiles, and when she told me that their outer appearance came from a deep inner hatred of the small amount of cellulite on their thighs I cringed!

I’d like to pause here.

I have a new word for cellulite.

It’s luvulite – pronounced love-you-light! 

Try it out ladies.

And guys, if your reading, don’t go around telling your woman you love her cellulite – that will not translate well.  Instead tell her you love her legs, that she has a beautiful body and you really enjoy feeling it against yours. 

Back to Beth… in just 3 sessions we worked deeply and efficiently to eradicate the voice of shame that had been running on repeat her whole life.  It no longer has a grip on her.

Of course the “habit” of that voice has the potential to creep back in, but Beth is now armed with powerful practices and tools that are entirely unique to her, they came from within her.  So she can battle that shame anytime it tries to sneak back in with ease and grace, until the “habit” of body shame is completely replaced with the “habit” of acceptance and love.

Now that she is no longer stuck on the body shame hamster wheel, she can start to see herself as a woman, and embrace her femininity in the way she has always envied other women doing.

She can let go of her masculine, militant, “work harder, push further,” voice and start listening to a new voice that says, “yes, child, that’s the way, if that feels good in your body then do it.”  and, “well beautiful girl, I think today is a resting day, no need to push yourself while you’re bleeding, just rest it out.”

My client Mark, is one of those sensitive kind of guys, he carried a heavy load of shame around being this way.  

He’d grown up with a very “man’s man” kind of father and his brother took after his Dad, so that left Mark always wondering what was wrong with him…. Why did he have to feel so much?

Mark could not remember a time he did not feel shame, self-doubt, and self-hatred.  He had always been sensitive to words, looks, energetic frequencies, vibes from others.  He felt this especially from his family, and lived with this very ‘grating” feeling that no one understood him, therefore he felt he’d never find anyone who could.

Our journey together took more time, but within 6 sessions Mark was able to peel away several of the thick layers of doubt and shame that kept him from attracting relationships where he was truly understood.

He had to let go of some friends and come to terms with certain family members, he had to understand them, rather than trying so hard to get them to understand him. This completely changed the way he related to the world around him…. And what do you know?  The world around him began to shift.

He just started dating a gorgeous girl, who deeply admires his innate sensitive nature!  He is now finding a beautiful balance within himself in relation to his masculine and feminine energies.  

Regardless of your gender, orientation, or identification, you have a masculine side, who gets sh*^ done, and you have a feminine side who enjoys just being.

When you have a healthy relationship to both of these sides you become more whole, more of you is available and you are walking in the presence of your highest potential.

Let me know – Do you experience BODY SHAME ? And if you do, what does it stop you from experiencing?

If you want help releasing that for GOOD – book your Intimacy Hour with me. This is the absolute most inexpensive way begin to work with me – and you’ll be blown away at what is possible in just 1 hour of dedicated support.

6 New Lifestyle Practices To Stay Calm During Quarantine

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While many people are getting swept up in the anxiety of these uncertain times, I am staying grounded and remaining positive…Not because I am naturally that way, but because I have been using the following Taoist principles every day!

Good news is that you can use these same principles *without* spending a lot of time on the computer, because I know you are maxed out on screen time like the rest of the world.

So let’s get right to it!

Taoist Principle 1: Slow Deliberate Movement

Spend 20-30 minutes a day doing slow deliberate movement, which means you are very present with your movements, and actually feeling energy move through your body as you breathe and move!  

  • This could be taking a very slow walk through your yard, feeling each foot-step as it lands and lifts on the earth.
  • Or a slow stretch routine that allows you to really feel into the meridians in your body (meridians follow the muscles and tendons; trust you are feeling them even if you don’t know where they are).

Chi Gong is my chosen slow flow movement, and I’ve created two 20-30 min videos for you to follow during the quarantine. One is for Immune health and the other is for anxiety. Access them here. 

Taoist Principle 2: Make a Magical Food

Since you are eating in more these days, why not put a little magic into your food? 

What does it mean to put magic in food?  It means to set an intention before you prepare a meal, for example: “My intention for this meal is to make something that makes me feel lighter, happier, and less worried today.” That would be a great intention for a breakfast meal!  

Then as you make the food, sing or hum or add some extra spices that excite your food.

As you eat your food, chew slowly and deliberately and as you take in the nutrients of your food imagine also taking in the nutrition of your intention.

This is actually the perfect time to do a cleanse, so if you would like some guidance with that.  It’s Spring, you’re stuck at home for another 3 weeks or more, why not do a 10 day cleanse?

Make a bone broth, what could be more grounding, centering and amazing for your immune, vitality and libido than a bone broth…. Never made a bone broth? Well now’s the time my friend! 

I’ve got a video for you to enjoy, so you can see how easy it is!

Taoist Principle 3: Develop a Daily Gratitude Practice

While times are challenging, and there’s no doubt the sense of security you felt two months ago has vanished, or at least shifted, this is a golden opportunity to take inventory on what’s working for your health happiness and well-being, and what is not.

Make a list of each, and without worrying about what is not working, place the list of what is going well in your world in front of you each day and read it out loud, feel free to add to it as the days pass.  Simply sit and feel a deep sense of gratitude for each item on your list until you feel a lightness in your entire nervous system.

If you want a guided gratitude practice CLICK HERE

Taoist Principle 4: Awaken Your Sensuality

Spend 5 minutes each day in total devotion to each one of your 5 senses.  

Spend an entire minute tuning into what you can hear inside your body, inside your room and outside.

Spend an entire minute tuning into what you can smell.

Spend an entire minute tuning into what you can taste.

Spend an entire minute tuning into what you can feel with your fingers – run them over your body, focus on the inner elbows, wrists and thighs.

Spend an entire minute tuning into what you can see, squint your eyes so your vision is blurred a bit and take in the textures, shapes, and colors

Taoist Principle 5: Tune into the Moon

Look to the sky at night and notice what is happening with the moon is it waning or waxing, full or new, take notes on how you feel in your body and in your mental state with each passing day of the moon as it shifts through its 4 phases.

Then send it to me in a month’s time! I would love to see how your mood changes with the moon.

Taoist Principle 6: Take a Shamanic Power Nap!

What’s a Shamanic Power Nap???

It’s when you lie down flat on the ground, you can place a pillow under your knees and small cushion under your head if you like. Place one handover your heart and one hand over your naval and breathe deeply as you listen for an intention to bubble up from your heart. Usually one word or a short phrase, like “peace,” or “wake up energized,” or “trust the unknown.”

Then tell your body to breathe deeply until you fall into a restful sleep, and set an alarm to wake you up about 20 min after you go out.

These are some of the SIMPLEST ways to stay calm and connected to your own pulse during a challenging season. It does require you to actually DO these things though. Start today, pick just one and try it on for size.

And don’t forget to GRAB your corona care package so that you can have immediate access to chi gong for anxiety, a practice for gratitude, a bone broth recipe, and more!

Lots of love,

Willow XO

Had Enough Sugar? So Have Your Adrenals!

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Had Enough Sugar? → 

So have your adrenals!  

If you’ve been following me for a while you know how much importance I place on happy healthy adrenals and how I believe they are one of the most fundamental keys to your happiness.

You may also have learned from me that the way that you feel, (happy, sad, anxious, stressed) has A LOT to do with your hormones. The moods that follow your around month after month taking up precious space in your relationships, physical body and mind are directly related to your estrogen, progesterone and testosterone levels – even if you are in menopause, even if you are a man.

Here’s what I know, getting in the driver’s seat of your emotional roller coaster is much more effective than trying to get off the roller coaster.

Why’s that?

Because the roller coaster that your hormones travel and subsequent moods they create are natural, and honestly, you’re better off embracing this reality than trying to escape it.

I remember when I first started to practice the Taoist Sexology practices that I’ve been teaching these last 7 years and how my intention was to “gain control” over my erratic emotions.  It took me about 3 weeks of practice before I realized that releasing control was going to take me much further in life than trying to gain control.

I was 20 at the time I started this practice, which is known to not only give you better orgasms, but also to boost your overall health and vitality.  I had just gone through a traumatic rape that left me pregnat at 19, and I knew that if I didn’t get the healing and support I needed I would shut down my sexuality and start going down the road of shame, pain and not enjoying my body.  

I decided to travel to Asia where I studied everything I could about Taoist Sexology and healing.

I had read several books by Mantak Chia, dog eared and underlined Steven Chang’s book, (which to this day I consider the bible of Taoist Sexology), but I wanted some direct teachings from these teachers and others, so off I went on a 6 month adventure to heal and find myself again.

What I can say about this practice and all the amazing teachers I’ve been able to study with over the years, is that ultimately, YOU will be your best teacher. That’s why we call it Sexology, because any “ology” is the study of or the observation of something, like psych-ology, bi-ology, endocrin-ology, physi-ology, etc….. You become a researcher for your own sexual energy, and this can be both healing and incredibly expanding.

Your own sexual energy is made up of two things. 

  1. One is knowing what turns you on and how to ask for it, your ability to have orgasms, have multiple orgasms and experience a fufilling sex life. Living free of shame and guilt. 
  2. Two is having a deep connection to your hormonal system (endocrine).  Knowing when your system is off and when it’s in balance and harmony. 

What I have found over the last 20 years of studying both my body and thousands of other women’s bodies is that when you get the bottom of one observation in your sexology journey, you’ll find yourself at the top of the next “observation.”

My student Jessica had grown up in a very religious family, where sex was taught to be shameful and sinful, so she had never allowed herself to find any pleasure in it.  After 16 years of marriage to her husband, who she loved very much, and a couple of kids, she felt like she was losing it all. Everything she had worked so hard to create, seemed to be slipping through her fingers.

Her kids were in their teens and showing a lot of disrespect to both their parents, but primarily to her, and her husband was of no help, it seemed like he was starting to lose respect for her as well. 

He started to say things he’d never said before like, “Well, if you took better care of yourself, maybe our sex life wouldn’t be in the dumps.”  He even started to make rude comments about her body and blatantly eyeballing other women when he was with her. 

Right before she reached out to me they had been walking in their local downtown area when an attractive young woman walked past them, he said, “Now there’s a figure you should be striving for honey.”  OUCH! 

The things he would say would shock her entire nervous system.  She had never heard him talk like this! It felt like he didn’t love her anymore.

Having never really enjoyed sex, due to her Catholic upbringing, it wasn’t something she ever initiated.  

So she decided she would try to initiate love-making more, only to feel rejected at every failed attempt.  

We started working together and within one month she was working through all the old shame and guilt in regards to sex that she had learned as a child. She knew her body wasn’t perfect, she had always had a nice figure in her youth and could eat anything she wanted, but after the second child things didn’t quite bounce back the same way.  

Once Jessica got through the first layer of guilt and body shame, she realized she had been reaching for sweets every time she felt guilty or shameful about herself.  

When she shared this with me, we decided that breaking her addiction to sweets would be an invaluable part of clearing out this old samskara (imprint/pattern/habit/mind-fuck) that left her in a wake of never truly enjoying the pleasures of the flesh.

Though she was doubtful that she could eliminate sugar and carbohydrates from her diet she was committed, so I put her on a “get off sugar” protocol, and within 2 days her cravings were GONE. 

She was astounded. She had tried many times before to stop eating the sweets she craved, but never quite had the will-power she thought she needed. 

When I explained to her that eliminating carbs was not about will-power – she laughed and said she did not believe me, but that she was open to trying.  Within the first week of her “get of sugar” protocol, she was feeling much lighter.

If you’d like to learn about this magical “get off sugar” protocol Jessica took, please join our FREE Eliminate Sugar Completely Challenge.

Within 2 weeks Jessica started to see that little pudge she had carried around her midriff since baby number two, melt away. She was motivated by the results she was seeing and kept on top of her new diet. She had eliminated all breads, pastas, cookies, chocolate, sweets and even fruit, and really did not crave any of it – she was amazed!

Her knee and wrist pain that had been bothering her for several years disappeared and her neck and shoulder pain were starting to diminish. She was definitely sleeping better and waking up with more energy.

Her afternoon 4pm energy-dip that always had her stopping at coffeetopia for a latte and a cookie was still there, but only by half. (We would work on her adrenals next to totally eliminate that).

Her skin was clear as a bell and much brighter, as were her eyes. She was taking the routine exercises she’d been doing for years to the next level and even adding in some pilates classes.

Jessica, was on a role, and she was not about to stop! We worked on her adrenals, her ovaries, her pituitary and hypothalamus (all hormone glands) and we got her gut functioning better, which is where 90% of your serotonin is produced. Serotonin is a hormone that makes you feel happy and at peace, not to mention helps you sleep well and digest properly.

About two months into our work together Jessica noticed her husband’s eyes scoping her booty, and she also noticed she liked it! It gave her a little zing through her yoni and a pop to her confidence, which we were also working on.

We did a coaching session to boost her confidence in initiating sex after all the fails that still lingered in her memory and when she actually initiated, and took charge of the sexual encounter, she not only had the most fun she’s ever had but she experienced the most pleasure – followed by the best orgasm she’s ever had!

As she continued to live her Sexology she noticed that her kids were treating her differently and everything in her life was changing for the better. She was not without her hard days, and ever-changing moods, but she was not resistant to those times.

She knew how to work with those low days, and she would never go back to getting stuck in them again, she knew how to move the energy in her body, whether it was stress, anxiety, worry or grief, she always had somewhere to turn to.

I share Jessica’s story with you because it is a beautiful example of what’s possible when you begin to change the inner landscape of your life.

By letting go of the limiting beliefs and old stories that hold you back, you can rebirth yourself into the women you were meant to be.

We are thrilled to be offering a fun FREE Get Off Sugar Completely 4-day Challenge, in which I will teach you how to use the same exact protocol Jessica used to eliminate inflammatory carbohydrates from your diet.

We will keep the complex-carbohydrates found in veggies in your diet, but we will do a deep cleaning of all the sugars that make your gut wall inflamed and disrupt the balance of your microbiome.

You will notice tons of other inflamed areas in your body heal within the 4 days of our “Challenge,” which will motivate you to keep going. Joint pain, brain fog, stress, anxiety, bloating, gas, skin, sleep and outlook on life will disappear or improve dramatically!

If your system is extremely toxic you may experience detox reactions such as headaches, malaise, sleeplessness, or severe moods, but if you stick with it beyond our 4 day challenge you will certainly see the benefits soon!

Join us here!

What if You CAN’T Manifest Your Goals For the New Year?

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It’s A New Year, and a New Decade!

If your anything like me you are creating some lofty goals for this next round of the journey… 

In 2020 I will be getting my Doctorate in Chinese Medicine and writing my first book.  If I can get around to creating my men’s course (The Allstar’s Guide to Understanding Women – A 2 Month Journey) it will be the cherry on top…. But no pressure on that.

Let’s talk about manifesting for a moment. 

This word is being thrown about so much these days that it’s starting to lose it’s magic.  People are often saying it with a sarcastic undertone.

“You can just manifest the money you need for rent….” hahaha.

“If you want a beloved partner, just manifest one….” hahaha.

As a spiritual practitioner who has been actively manifesting her life for over 2 decades, here’s what I can say about the actual practice of  manifesting.

It’s more than just focusing on a positive outcome for a certain situation in your life and hoping, wishing and praying that it comes to fruition.  

It’s more than just walking on the beach and vibrating at the frequency you want to feel when you actually have the thing your manifesting. Or sitting on your meditation cushion and dropping into that feeling.

While those things do help and are part of the journey to arriving at said destination, you also have to take action.

You need to bring some yang (action, heat, fire, structure) to your yin (receiving, being, breathing, feeling)

What is your PLAN?

What steps will you take to create this sparkling jewel of bliss in your life?

When creating this plan, work your way from the destination backward.  

Imagine you have the thing your manifesting in your life, and ask yourself what would need to be in place 1 month before that thing / person arrives? 

What would need to be in place 2 months before it arrives? 

How about 3 months, and 4 months before it arrives? 

Depending on the pearl of joy or accomplishment I am calling into my life, I will work my way 6 to 12 months backward.

Here’s an example of my manifestation map for the year:

12 months from now I will have my first book published and a Doctorate!

(don’t pick more than 3 things if mapping them all together)

At 11 months, my publishing company will be working with me to finalize publication.

At 10 months, I will take a well deserved vacation somewhere warm and do any final edits on my book that the publisher wants.

At 9 months, I will have submitted my final edition of the book to the publisher.

At 8 months, I will complete the doctorate program, and be putting the finishing touches on my book.

At 7 months, I will have 2 more chapters written (the book will have 7-9 chapters)

At 6 months – I will have 2 more chapters written

At 5 months – I will have 2 more chapters written. Doctorate moving along

At 4 months – I will have one or two chapters done.

At 3 months – I will have my Inline and outline for the book created.

At 2 months – I will have my 1st Case Study written and presented. I will have my book proposal written and sent in to 2 publishers.

At 1 month – I will start the doctorate program and get started on writing case study papers.  I will spend 15-30 minutes on my book as many days as possible (I will map out each week individually according to time available that weeks to work on the book)

As you can see the outline is a rough guideline that will change and morph as you go along… the point is not to have firm deadlines that stress you out, but to have a general map that will keep you on track toward acquiring that which you’re manifesting.

If you are calling in something less tangible like more grace, your map could look something like this: 

In 6 months I will be walking through my life in total grace, which means that I will be making choices from a place of love rather than fear, I will be responding to triggering moments with a pause rather than a reaction. I will take that “pause time” to step into my most gracious self, which is where I feel gratitude for all the good things I have in my life and appreciate myself for the reality I have created thus far.  

Defining the less tangible goals for yourself is crucial….. In this example what does it mean to walk in grace? Who will show up in your life? Where will it take you in your emotional state? Where will it take you in the world?

The map would look like this:

6 months: I walk in pure grace 95% of the time.

5 months from now: I will appreciate myself for all the time and energy I have put into this endeavor of building up grace within myself by taking myself for a spa day.

4 months from now: I will begin the practice of the pause, so that I can begin to change my reactions to triggering events or people.

3 months from now: I will have a better understanding of why I react to certain triggers, and why my reaction is what it is.

2 months from now: I will develop a strong gratitude practice.

This first month: I will bring more consciousness to the choices I am making and ask myself if I am making them out of love or fear?

In Tibetan Buddhism there is a beautiful practice that incorporates both karma and emptiness. If you are not familiar with these terms, I will define them here.

Karma is what ripens from the seeds you plant in your heart, karmic seeds take 6 months to manifest.  A seed could be an actual thing you do, and action or it could just be a thought you have, whether you take action on it or not, the seed gets planted.

Emptiness is the fact that nothing is anything until your perceive it as something. My teacher always uses the example of a pencil. If I give the pencil to a person, that person will perceive it as a pencil, but if I give that same pencil to a dog, it will perceive it as a chew toy, therefore the pencil is neither a pencil nor a chew toy, it is empty.

You can use the laws of karma and emptiness quite effectively in your manifestation journey by thinking about somebody in your life that you care about who you know wants the same thing as you and wishing them great success in getting it. 

This plants the specific karmic seeds in your hear that you want to see come to fruition.

When manifesting something you have never created in your life before sometimes there is a disconnect, meaning there is a part of you that does not believe you can actually create this.

So you’ve got to manifest from a place of truth, this is Satya, one of the yoga sutras that says, “Let your life be a reflection of the truth you speak/ think.” Remember that your perception is not always the truth, pause to make space for truth in your mind.”

So let’s say I want to manifest earning $100,000.00 in one month.  Sounds great, and I can vibrate to that frequency all I want, and visualize the money coming to me and pray to all my angels to bring it to me, but if somewhere inside of me there is a voice saying, “yeah right, that is never going to happen, you are not in the kind of profession that can do that,” then my manifestation practice is doomed from the start.

In this case, what I need to do is manifest from a place a truth. I know I can make over $10,000 in one month, so I know I could make over $20,000 in one month. If I truly believe I could make over $50,000 in one month then I can use that amount as my manifestation point and create my plan from there.

One of my biggest cautions when stepping into a strong manifesting practice in your life is to remember that if you get too myopically focused on creating your manifeston you could miss out on all the other gifts the universe is trying to give you.  

Manifest lightly by releasing your attachment to having the exact thing you want show up.  Add an element of surrender to your practice, in fact you can use this practice to augment the outcome of what you’re manifesting.

In the yoga sutras it is the fifth of the 5 Niyama’s, which are practices that relate to you personally. It’s called Ishvara Pranidhana – in a word SURENDER.

Surrender everything that you do to a higher source (Goddess/ God/ Spirit/ Allah/ Shiva/ Jah/ Tao) the name of your higher power is not important, what is important is that you make regular daily offerings to them.  If you can consciously think to do it, offer everything to them.  

This surrender and offering practice will allow you to receive all the extra gifts that come along with what you are manifesting.

For example if you are calling in your beloved and you open yourself to receive that gift in all the forms that it comes in, you might deepen a connection with a dear friend or family member along the way.  

If your manifesting an amazing physique it’ll be great to get to the gym 3x per week and eat healthy, but it will be 10 x more powerful and effective if you do it in honor of a high power. Offer it to your “God,” or offer it to another person and plant a healthy karmic seed in your heart.

It could sound like this. “I’m going to go the gym 3x per week for my friend who’s sick and can’t exercise herself. Every time I enjoy my healthy body I will dedicate it to her finding a new level of health in her body.”

Manifest with orgasmic energy!

Pleasure YOURSELF at least once a week so that your body knows the truth of pleasure, and has an up-to-date experience of what feels good. 

When you self-cultivate (better word for it than masterbate), you can make love to the vision your are manifesting.  See it in your minds eye and cultivate the feeling you’ll have when it’s in your life. By adding sexual energy to the mix of manifestation you bring more creative juices to party and step into more pleasure joy and fun…. Manifesting should not be taken too seriously.

If you want help CLEARING old stories that are blocking you from what you desire most in LOVE and in LIFE – and stepping into your most helpful narrative yet – Snag Your Intimacy Hour with me ;).

Bless!

Willow Brown L.Ac.

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