In my last article, I wrote about what shame feels like – and what you could be experiencing instead.
It’s a big topic. Which is why I’m bringing you this Part 2: All about religious shame.
Did you grow up with Religious guilt?
Me too.
Somehow, I was able to not succumb to the imposed guilt too much. I actually developed a rebellion toward it; and this “shadow” aspect of guilt was not without its own hold over me. It got me into some sticky situations, for sure!
It’s no secret that our culture has been built on the bedrock of fear, shame and guilt.
It’s no secret that the opposite of these emotions is love.
While fear, shame and guilt has been instilled to keep order over the people, as we are seeing in the world today, there is also a deep uprising of love, because love is innate.
These dark and light sides to humanity reside in you, they reside in me, they reside in all of us, that’s why you can relate to both sides.
The question is, what leads your journey? Love or Fear?
I’d like to notice whether the voices of guilt and shame have the tone of your mother’s voice, your father’s voice or your religious leader’s voice then those voices are not inherent to you.
If guilt and shame are not really who you are, then who are you?
Take some time to journal who you are without the confines of guilt, what choices would you make differently, how would you carry yourself differently, what kind of people would you surround yourself with?
Take a step further to explore who you would be, could be and are without shame…. this may take some outside support…. I’d love to support you in this!
You’re welcome to set up an introductory session with me.
Unraveling yourself from the doctrine you were raised with can really require the support of a trained coach or therapist. No shame in asking for that support.
Religion carries a deep sense of spirituality that feeds and nourishes your soul, it also holds a sense of “control” that makes you feel like you are nothing without it.
This can be confusing if you are a spiritual person by nature and a people pleaser.
Coming from a huge catholic family myself I understand the conundrum this opposing message can create in you.
I know what it takes to find your own sovereign truth in the midst of all the outside messages. I’ve helped thousands of people come to clarity within themselves.
I don’t believe you need to throw the baby out with the bathwater. I believe you’ve got to release yourself from the “control” that keeps you playing out your life inauthentically.
You’ve got to trust that the light within you will not disappear when you clear out the shadows. In fact it will only get brighter.
You are the only one who can heal this divide for you. And you are not only doing it for yourself, but for your parents and their parents and all the way back through your ancestral line.
You also do this healing for your children or any future children.
You are here to shift the epi-genetic code, simply by your shifting your relationship to spirit, and making choices from a place of love.
What I have found is that when you let go of “control” of the outcome; the way your life looks, where you are at by the time you’re 40, the way you look to others, and how you feel about your own life, you get closer to Spirit.
You develop a closer, more powerful relationship with God/Spirit/Goddess and begin to know that this powerful force is inside of you.
I can hear my own father’s voice, he became a born again christian during my teens, and he’d follow me around the house reading the Bible! He’d say, “The kingdom of heaven is within you!”
He had his spiritual awakening while I was busy going through puberty, (good times)!
To this day he reads St. Brigit’s prayers everyday and stands on the podium at church to read from the bible most Sunday’s. He is all in with his religion, but even more in with spirituality! To him they are one and the same.
As you might imagine his spiritual awakening and my hormonal crises created a huge rift in our relationship for the better part of a decade. But as I healed my own dualistic, confused relationship with the doctrine of religion and pure spirituality, I was able to honor his relationship with it.
I now see my Dad as a man with incredible faith, in fact, he has more faith than anyone I know, and it brings tears to my eyes the devotion he has to his practice and the relationship he has to his God. My two brothers and I find it astounding and inspiring!
Without even knowing it, he’s become a master practitioner of something called santosha.
Santosha is one of the yoga sutras, (kind of like the 10 commandments of yoga), it’s the practice of surrendering your preferences. This means you have to train yourself to let go of “liking” and “disliking” things.
You have to stop seeing things as “good” and “bad” and start seeing things through the eyes of acceptance.
You may be thinking, “but some things are completely unacceptable!”
It is true that things are often “unjust,” and “unfair,” but if you let your emotional state be yanked this way and that way by what you believe is fair or unfair, you will be exhausted from the emotional roller coaster.
Santosha is the true path to contentment. And contentment is a longevity practice, it can add years to your life, not to mention quality.
It doesn’t mean you won’t take actions to change the way things are in your life, it’s not acceptance in the way of complacency.
It’s acceptance in the way of meeting yourself and your life exactly where you are at. When you do this you release the element of resistance that keeps you in it’s grip, and free up your energy to be in love, rather than shame and guilt.
I want this for you! If you want this for yourself – consider hiring me for transformational private coaching.
All My Love!
Willow
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